?serene's life?

Saturday, December 17, 2011

finally done with all the shit CTs!!

haha! :D

studied for all like only one day before the papers!

wts sia!

slack too much ald!

haha! XD

anw things are getting better..

both home and school :)

and i gt short listed for the new job ald!! haha! :D

training on tue!

hope everything goes well :D

had a hard time deciding for my internship choices!

sho many choices

finally decided on what i want ald..

hopefully can get it! :)

writtern @9:24 PM

Saturday, December 3, 2011

complain complain and more complain...

yea.. that's prolly what im best at..

haha! :D

thanks to all the shit..

but imma gonna face all this shit right in the face rather than complaining~

i will not go to sch scare or upset or anything..

I WILL SEE UR RIGHT IN THE FACE AND SMILE!

LAUGH RIGHT ON WITH MY LIFE!

I WANT TO MAKE UR GUILTY!

afterall its not me who had done anything wrong...

is ur...

ur did not want me..

ur casted me out..

ur abandoned me..

ur kicked me out...

SO WHAT AM I AFRAID OF?

NOTHING!!

im not even afraid of scoring badly for this module..

for this sem..

for my whole poly life..

i have gotten the lowest grade i could have gotten before ald..

a pathetic gpa of 2.4...

so u think im still worrying about getting lower?

sorry im not!

if i can ever get lower than that, i think i would prolly be a effing genius man!

HAHAH! :D

anw special thanks to those effing AWESOME peeps for cheering me up! :D

tkl, justin, sc, daphne, jason and audrey!! :D

was still emo-ing at home when justin called to meet up for dinner..

haha! :D come to think of it now abit stupid ar.. waste time for people that are not worth it...

wasted my life and happiness on them! =p

decided to go even though i had dinner... talk talk with them oso shuang... =p

somemore tkl going in camp ald.. so jus went...

chatted and made me forget my troubles.. haha! :D

unexpected call from the right peeps totally made my day yo! :D

after their dinner and my supper... though i didnt eat much besides having a drink...

went to meet jason :)

when he reached saw that audrey came along to meet me too!

touched!!

realised that i had made them all worry for me...

esp that day when i literally ignored everybody...

haha!

zhi han told me when i replied his text the next morning that i gave them all a heart attack! haha! :D

almost laugh out loud on the bus reading it!

sounds like i so evil.. :/ make people worry ald still can laugh.. haha! :D

but its just the way he wrote it la... =p

went to watch them eat.. haha! :D

still super full from dinner to eat anything...

too bad audrey had to leave shortly after coz she need to rush for her last train...

after that talked abit with jason..

felt a better after talking to him..

although didnt told him the worse problem.. the things with sch...

but aiya.. don have to trouble people with stupid problems like this.. HAHA! XD

shit stuff made me opened my eyes and see who are my true friends and who are those that i should actually stay away from...

come to think of it.... it is not a bad thing afterall! :D

writtern @10:54 AM

just when i thought i could handle things.. shit have to happen again!

just when i thought i could just endure it through...

for another half a semester now and one final semester after internship with them shit has to happen...

I OFFICIALLY DECLARED THAT ALL OF UR ARE NOT MY FRIENDS ANYMORE!

i know none of them would see this but idc... its better like this even i think...

at least i can act like there nth wrong and pretend around u guys...

all i want now is for sch to end...

to not see any of ur anymore..

to end on a good note and not a bad and awkward one...

that's all i ask now... to be able to pretend... :)

what im fuming is the fact that ur judge me juz coz of that one incident...

that one time where i had to miss the meeting which ur told me so late...

that ur wanted so close to the deadline..

so it ended up that i did nth for that project.. and ur are unhappy with me?

is it my fault? like seriously!

ur wanted to changed the whole thing the last min... was it my fault that ur wanted something so big and so ambitious?

and when u realised that things are not working out and wanted to change so last min.. i couldnt meet and ur are unhappy with me?

whatever.. i simply don care anymore!

but blaming people is simply too tiring.. exhausting..

i might as well blame myself..

maybe i wasnt the best grp mate for u guys..

yea.. i am too sloppy in my work.. never be able to meet ur standards...

im just not that bright and not fast as u guys are..

prolly ur did a good decision casting me out...

whatever is it...

I SIMPLY DON GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE..

ur made me hate myself...

ur were never my friends...

never been able to understand me..

but thanks for all the good times together IN THE PAST

appreciated much..

i think the only thing that i would regret of poly life was getting into wrong clique...
ur were never from my kind of world..

itd just the whole world and me now i guess.. :)

I WILL SURVIVE IT THROUGH EVEN WITHOUT UR..

i don even give a damn to my grades anymore la..

since im not going to uni after poly... and private uni oso don need to look at results de..

so who cares?

for all i know i can even just drop out of sch right now.. immediately when i feel like it... :)

but still thanks for making my grade look reasonable... thanks :)

so that's it..

i don need a bunch of friends that treat me like dust.. like im not worth it...

all i need is one friend that knows me well...

and im thankful to God that i have a few of the latter...

jin hui, boon, tkl, and justin!! :D

we are so close that we can talk anything to each other! haha! :D

although it sometimes make me wanna puke blood talking to that siao zabor!! haha! XD

u guys are awesome! :D

friends for life!! :D

writtern @10:20 AM

Friday, December 2, 2011

y are all the shit happening in my life like yet again?

seriously =.=

been troubled by all the shit and the thoughts that shouldnt have...

irritated much

was thankful when sch finally ended.. meant some peace and time for me to think through things..

had an awesome music blasting session on the journey home..

my own 'therapy'.. HAHA! :D

with my awesome beats earphones! simply AWESOME!!

totally deafening! which was what i needed..

loudness to the extent where my ears cant take it and my brain couldnt function..

couldnt think of things besides focusing on the songs simply coz the music was too loud to be ignored... louder than my own thoughts that keep echoing in my head non stop...

after that felt a sense of peace and calmness and somehow knew what i was going to do abt all the problems..

everything felt insignificantly small and soft to my ears which was almost half deaf by then...

for church.. i think i somehow know what i should do abt it and how imma gonna do it...

for that ridiculous thought.. i still have no idea how to stop it but i think i can control them better now... its reali ridiculous la! thinking abt him again.. didnt expect that i will be lidat again.. esp when almost 2 years had passed since i gave up... lol. =p

but so why is it coming back now? esp after knowing that little information that was told to me?

why? for that i have no answer... so i shall just have to figure out slowly or wait for it to die off again or for me to cut myself away from that feeling and simply just see him as a friend like how i i had that almost 2 years ago... :)

so yep.. another one down..

and for internship.. i still gt another 2 more weeks to ponder on.. so no rush yet i guess? :)

its just me panicking and making myself stress up for no good reason..

stupid!

haha! :D

and for school.. i think i can just endure pass it ba.. no big deal.. i have beem through this before...

i can survive the ordeal...

in conclusion, all the problems are peanuts to me!

i can survive them!

NO BIG DEAL MAN! :D

*note to self: yea! serene! keep the positive attitude and u can shine despite all the shit things and shit people in ur life! :D JIAYOU!! HAHA! :D

writtern @6:54 AM