short one (hopefully =p) before i go and die on my bed!
done with all the nonsense ald!
all sub-standard work and i know it
but who cares..
not me at least..
lols.. -.-
so this is what happens when one holds no more interest in what they are doing..
just like me losing interest for sch..
and at a pretty fast rate
HAH!
and plus doing things with people that just dont have the same working style as me?
fucking sian..
lol.. -.-
cold treatment from them but i know i deserve it..
but cant be bothered anymore..
2 more months and i can fuck off and be on my own again!

kind of like being on my own most of the times though i realise..
its like you can be the real you without having to mind how people judge you..
unless its with the people that reali knows me and those that i trust..
they are the only ones that i can be just myself around them :)
the world is so judgemental..
but oh well.. its just in the nature of us humans..
haha! :D

okokie! damn crappy and angsty these two days!
look at what the lack of slp is doing to me! :(

working again tmr!! yay! :D
my other comfort place..
its like no matter how tired and crappy and angs i am, when i go there it just all disappear...
ok maybe not disappear totally but the intensity of it just go right down!
haha! :D
crazy me! lols!
but sian la! tmr no kak and eileen to play with me! :(
but lucky still gt carol, jacob and arthur to play with!! :DD
been playing around with jacob recently!
cant believe i actually used to not like him so much when i was teaching him!
damn funny can! and now we is like still can openly say about how i used to not like him last time!!
wahhahha!! :D

damn money chase these days..
idk why oso..
not like i want to buy anything or what..
and not like i very poor now oso..
ok la.. maybe abit..
but still able to survive and mummy gt say can take from her if not enough..
but dono since when me no like take money from her ald sia!
good for her, bad for me!
haha! :D
but whatever la!
just like the thought of having alot of money!
lols!
afterall who no like money! =p
and me wish still the same!
me want have my own house!
haha! :D
not like i dowan live with mummy or what..
but dono why just want to have my own place..
haha! :D

ouh ya!!
teacher gave surprise test during korean lesson today lo!
just when i said i haven studied for anything in the morning!
somemore is a test on all the 4 chapters she teach before!
but managed to get 89 sia!!
whahahaha!! :D
damn funny also lo..
everybody talking during the test and helping each other!
haha!! :D
oh well.. what to do?
we are just that awesome!
HAHAHAHA!! :D
sound so bhb! XD

shall go and die flat on bed ald!
didnt realised is almost 4 le!! :D
have to wakeup for online project discussion tmr morning at 8! :(
like seriously?! these chiongsters ar! :O

oh! and my rambling ended up to be so long ald! :O
and i said i wanted to keep it short!
oh well!! since i ald typed out everything ald..
then..
just posted it la!
what else?!
delete away meh!
siao!
haha! :D
okokie! getting crazy ald! time to slp! :D

writtern @3:50 AM

Seriously can I not go Sch for stupid projects anymore?
Sick and tired.
And not to say fucking tired and drained. :(
No mood to face people that I don't like oso. Haix!
Fuck my life la!
Fucking angsty now!
And can this stupid phone of mine stop autocorrecting my fucking to ducking not!
Knn!
Stupid phone!

In cab now coz no bus! Sians!
And I gt limited cash! And it's jamming! And I'm only still at my home area!
Gan!
No lunch for me today ald! :(
Don't even know if gt enough for cab if the jam continues like this la!
Ccb la! Of all days to jam!
Fuck the jam la!

Dann irritated with Sch now!
Bad habit came back to me again juz now.
Crying when stress! Haix!
Going to Sch now with damn puffy eyes!
Gan!
Can't help it. But it's been so long since this habit of mine happen ald lo. :(
Can foresee more breakdowns throughout the day.
As always when i suppress and control myself when crying. Lol.
Hopefully wont happen la.
Me no no cry in front of people de.
Except for those that I trust the most.

And I haven study and do my homework for my Korean! Double fuck!! _|_ _|_
Sucks to be me la!
Y didn't the world end like it was rumored to! :(

Okokie! Need to fuck off from here ald
Polluting my blog with all my nonsense!

Can feel the second round of breakdown coming ald.
Shall try and control it and compose myself before I reach Sch. :/

And I fucking miss me boyfriend now luh! :(

writtern @9:31 AM

finally dinner!
my god!
starving for hours ald!
tired like crap now
cant believed that i actually spent like 13 hours in sch doing project today
eyeball like gonna pop out soon ald
staring at lappy for so long! =x
shall try to complete at least one tutorial before i slp ba
have to wakeup early tmr for project again..
what kind of life is this la! :((
but nvm! at least i get to go back to hotel and play tmr! :D
although is to work but still ~~ :)
hahaha!! :D
last second shift with kak before she go on her ALs :(

okokies! shall get started on tutorials ald!
then shall call it a day!
then wait for dear dear to call before i slp! ^.^
cant believed i actually fell aslp while waiting for his call ytd.. haha! :D
think must be the medicine la..
but oh well.. i still managed to wakeup and answer his call!! haha!! :D
and yep! i dreamt of dear again ytd! hahaha!!! :D:D:D
but the dream like weird weird de!!
lols!!
storyline like dont flow de lo!!
-.-
think my brain going crazy ald!
hah! :D
but me like still! all the dreaming part!!
been so long since i reali dream so much! haha! :D

okies! shall go drink my yakult and start work ald! :D
yum yum!! =p

writtern @11:59 PM

sick again! wth! :(
i think lacking too much slp ald! immunity getting worse!
having the damn sore throat and nose block and flu.. :(
plus slight fever that always comes in a package with sore throat for me
feeling cold on and off..
:((
all wrapped up in my blanket while doing my work at the table now :(

and just one day only and already missing working ald
LOLs!
something wrong with my brain uh! =p

was falling aslp while doing work juz now and baby sent me this!! ♥





















so sweet of him!!
haha!! :D
lots and tons of love for this dear dear of mine!! ♥ ♥ ♥
immediately wakeup sia!!
haha! :D
my immediate energy booster!! HAHA! :D
okokies! shall get back to my research while my energy and concentration level is back thanks to baby!
shall finish it fast fast then wait for baby to call :)
hopefully no need to ton the night for school work and rest early :)

writtern @11:24 PM

so freaking tired!!
but super happy also!!
finally back at the Bay after so long!!
damn miss there sia!! :D
hahhaha!!
but seriously lacking slp!
gonna turn into a zombie soon ald!
LOLs! =p
miracle i still can rmb all the things and how to use wishnet lo!
wahahahahh!! :D
can get to play and fool around with kak after so so so so long!!
too bad she going on her AL soon also.. damn sian!
nvm! shall make good use of the last few shifts with her before she go on her AL to play as much as i can!! hahha! :D
everything feels so familiar yet so different lo...
but not in a bad way la..
just somehow doesn't feel as lively as before..
sigh..
i want back the old staff!
with char jie jie, evil edison and sweet sweet gerard and all!!
haha! :D
anw i still gt dear dear there also!! hahhah! :D
though cant reali see him during work time =x
but still can la actually! when he comes up to the lounge lo!
just like today!!
wahahahhaha!! :D

seriously no more feel for sch ald!
shit this feeling!
haha! :D
maybe its just the people la... but i reali don give a damn anymore..
opps! =x

writtern @11:00 PM

got back the STMO quiz from the other day!
is either i damn lucky or i damn pro lo!
managed to get 31 out of 40 sia!!
wahahhhaha!! :D
think i is lucky la juz as what mummy say =p
but whatever! point is i still passed! hahah! :D

oh! gt a call from that evil Edison today just before class starts!!
damn random! hahah!! :D
but feels good to talk to him again after so long!!
crapping here and there until my class start!
damn miss this crap buddy cum 'fake bf' of mine sia!! hahahaa!! :D

anw feel a lil bad and guilty for lying to them..
not that i want to but ya..
no interest to study ald is lidat de la..
cant be bothered..
and i think i more interested in going back to hotel to play/work lo.. =p
although is only a short short de two weeks.. but still i get to see my 'family' again!!
and thing is i oso cant understand why they need so many days to do just one part of the project lo..
maybe is just that my working style is too different from them ald la..
they too chiong, i too relax ald..
prolly oso why cant reali get along nowadays..
but still feel damn bad for lying to them la..
but if i were to tell the truth that im gonna be working for the two weeks cmf will conflict again like the last time...
not exactly what i want in the final two months before things would be over..
好聚好散 la uh.. hahahaha!! :D
and not like i never allocate time to meet up with them to do it..
is they like want to meet so long and so many days
like what?!! haha! :D
at most let them mark me down lo.. which i think they will sia XD
but heck care!
juz hoping that they at least gimme a 50% jiu okie ald..
let me juz scrape through this can ald :D
only looking forward to completing school and going back to play/ work and earn money!!
damn broke now can! hahahah!! :D
still have no idea what i wanna do after poly.. :(
should i continue study or just go work first then see how?
then if i going to work then where? back at the Bay?
not that its bad la.. but not exactly the best either..
but i don think i wanna work in those super duper big hotels either eh! LOLs! =.=
argh! whatever la!
still gt two more months!
think so much for what!
shall do things my style!
play by ear and decide/ plan last min!
wahahahahha!! :D

okies! need to get started on PT individual ald!
research for my content tonight
then tomorrow whole day chiong out the report! :D
im damn awesome! forever last min work! haha! :D

writtern @10:42 PM

finally got to see baby on saturday night after like so long! :DD
miss him lots lots lo!
went clubbing with that cat and justin and their friends =p
so long no play ald lo!
haha! :D
but i think i oso damn siao la!
middle of exam period still can go party!
hahahaha!! :D

but whatever! thing is i get to see baby!! :DD
and i think i is miss him too much ald lo but he smell damn good sia!!
like seriously sia!!
hahahahaha!! :D
as good as always!! XD
okokies!!
sounding more and more wrong!
haha! :D

anw met up with Qila on sat oso!
so many stories to hear lo!! =p
and so much things happened lo.. :(
but im gonna go back to the Bay and play again!!
yay!!
for two weeks though.. =X
help them out since most of them clearing their ALs..
but still! i get to go back!
gt money and can play!
and can work with kak again for few days until she go on her AL oso! :D

TRMK paper tmr...
damn sian!
no feel study!
shall go and flunk tmr!
haha! :D
that day PFM on sat oso same!
the mcq and short ans all anyhow thum oso!
haha! :D

shall try to see if i can cramp whatever little infor i can into the ald-shut-down brain of mine ba!
shall slp by 12 tonight hopefully!! haha! :D
so means only left awhile to study only! but whatever! :)
study tmr then! since is afternoon paper anyway! =p

writtern @11:38 PM

Done with the damn RMTR report ald!
Or rather almost! Left with only the executive summary! Haha!
Word count till now 2200plus! Wth!
Have to cut down ald! Haha!
Shall head to bed now and continue tmr.
Anw only left executive summary and to cut down the number of words only. :)
But not bad sia! Three hours to crap out one report with 2000plus words! Haha! :D
But quality idk la. Don care oso la! Haha! :D gt do and submit can ald! Lols! Haha! :D
I think I getting more and more jialat la!
Hahha! :D
Like everything oso don care! Haiyo! :(

Shall slp ald! Continue chiong tmr! :D

writtern @3:14 AM

my god! damn fail sia me!
intended to wakeup early to chiong RMTR report but end up sleeping until now!
woke up at 7 plus actually and decided not to clock gym hours today so gt more time for report..
in the end went back to slp!
seriously damn fail!
this stupid sch with so much things to do is like taking a toll on me ald la!
feels like i can just slp anywhere anytime and die lo! :((
everyday oso so tired :(
just hope the remaining two months plus can pass faster!

okokie!! have to start report ald!
sacrificed my gym hours today!
cannot waste it like this!
at least have to chiong out half the report before i head to sch for lessons!
sian! now have to make time again to go clock the hours!
sucks la!
hahaha!! :D

ouh ya!!
ytd dreamt of my dear dear!!
cannot rmb what it was about ald though! :((
too tired ald la but rmb that he appeared in my dream!
haha! :D
damn damn miss him alot luh!!
hopefully can get to see him on saturday night! :)

okokies!! have to focus and start on my work ald! :(

writtern @9:22 AM

finally done with STMO quiz ald!! :D
wahahahah!! :D
6 lectures for 10%! damn bo hua lo!! hahha!! :D
some of the qns anyhow only! haha! :D
shall start studying for PFM and TRMK soon ald!
hopefully!! haha!! :D

have to start on my RMTR and PT individual ald oso!!
due this fri and next week! :O

talking to my babyboy now!! :DD
me miss him lots lots sia!
so long no see him ald lo!! :(

writtern @11:45 PM

Me being paranoid?
I hope so.
Or is it me that's too much of a plain Jane that always fails to keep and draw people to me for long?
Too uninteresting.
Too common.
Too dumb.
Too unknowledgeable.
Idk. :(
Maybe. :(
Haix! :(
Trying not to think too much.
Over thinking kills me. Inside out. Always.
Tried to watch some variety show juz now before bed but apparently not helping.
Can't believed tears are coming down lidat.
Been so long since I cried myself to slp. Think it's gonna be one of those night. :(
Hopefully is juz me being crazy. :(

writtern @4:23 AM

sudden lost of mood
vision blurring
tearing unknowingly.. :(
this is not what i wanted..
i reali love this guy..
all i want is to have someone to care about me and someone for me to care about..
too much to ask for?
:(

writtern @10:29 PM