y is this happening again? :(
just what is wrong with me...
im sorry i haven been a good gf for baby...
i did nth and that's the problem...
i did nth to show how much baby meant to me..
to prove how much me love baby.
to show how important baby is to me..
third right after my mummy and bro..
i'm evil to make baby think that everything is one sided from his point of view..
to conclude..i have been a bad gf for baby.. :(
its my fault and weakness to tend to take people for granted just because i trust that they will never leave me..
to take them for granted when i start to get comfortable with them and then trust that they will never leave me..
my stupid theory and naive assumption..
totally miss the point that people cant read minds and understand all my behaviour and actions..
that i need to express all this emotions and feelings so that they will know..
to reassure them of my feelings for them..
and now i'm just hoping that it is all not too late still..
to be able to get things to what it should be...
what it used to be...
can never forget the hurt that shot thru me when i read his msg this morning..
esp the one that he said that when he were to start to not care, things will get ugly..
its like a part of me was in pieces..
and each of the fragments are screaming at me that it's my fault that they are in those broken fragmented pieces..
it juz so scary how things can change in a blink of an eye..
just two days ago i was still talking to mummy about him before heading to work...
trying to let her know more about him..
to see if it is possible to let baby meet mummy like what he wanted since last month...
but judging from the way things are..
it prolly have to wait...
tearing while typing..
barely seeing my keyboard..
shall grab some slp first..
have been awake for almost 29 hours ald..
to clear my mind.. even for the short period of time before i have to get up and continue with all my work.. :(
seriously just fuck sch and fuck my life..
nth have been going well since sch reopen..
except for the part that i met and got to know baby... :)
not regretting meeting him and for everything that happened..
not gonna regret either.. :)
it's like the best thing that has happened to me since the longest time as far as i can rmb...
all i hope now is that it is all not too late still... =x
